But! But! But! Can you stop using the word ‘but’ in your conversations? Don’t even substitute another word for it! Take it totally out of your vocabulary! Try it for an hour and see how difficult it really is: not using the word ‘but’ in your life! Talking without buts can be quite challenging. I have been trying to stop using the word ‘but’ when I speak, as well as when I write. It is a lot easier when you are writing than when you are talking. Whenever you use the word ‘but’ you are setting down limits. You may even neutralize a positive with a negative, or vice versa. That ends up making your statement status quo. No gain, no loss. So it ended up being a loss of words and a loss of time anyway. See how statements using the word ‘but’ shut down. By this I mean, when a person gets to the word ‘but’, people automatically stop listening. Have you noticed that? Their attention gets distracted as you talk. It’s like “ok here it comes.”
“I would love to help you, BUT ....” “I’m not trying to change my husband, BUT ....”
I didn’t write an end to the statements above because, in the distraction other people get from the word ‘but’, they are already assuming what you are going to say, whether it is accurate or not. You have lost them. The word ‘but’ is a conjunction. A conjunction is a word that joins two different thoughts or statements. So the word ‘but’ joins two different thoughts or statements. Why join them if they are different? Take the statements above and instead of saying ‘but’ try putting a period at the end of the statements. Then follow the statement with whatever you were going to say.
“I would love to help you. I won’t be able to though.” or “I would love to help you. I need to do this first. If I have time I will help.” “I am not trying to change my husband. I would just like to see things different.”
In each case above, see how being positive was maintained? Yet, the point that you wanted to make was made! And without using the word BUT! Consciously try not to use the word ‘but’ in your conversations. Work on maintaining positive energy when speaking or writing. Take the time to make your life happier. Take the Buts out of your life!