Unless it is a life threating situation, a natural disaster, or something beyond our control, life does not get in the way. Many situations that we believe are out of our control can still give us choices. It is those choices that get in the way: not life itself.

I realized that I was using the phrase, life got in the way, as an excuse for not answering emails, not calling people, and not getting important work done. It wasn’t life. It was me! My choices, my LOP (List of Priorities), and my self-made situations were the basis for the excuse, life got in the way.

The next time you use that excuse phrase remember it wasn’t life. It was YOU! Maybe it is time to rearrange your priorities. You think?

Til Next time!

I saw that there was an update I should do. So I thought, “okay I can do that especially now that I have broadband.” Ya, right! When I clicked on the link to download the upgrade it said I should back up in case there was a problem. Again, “okay I can do that.” Again, ya, right!

I have printed out about 50 pages of instructions on backing up and updating. It all reads as gibberish to me. I can’t make heads or tails of it. So now what do I do? I can’t afford to hire someone to do it for me. If I had someone to walk me through it I might be able to do it.

So here I sit. Wondering if I should move my blog. Wondering if being a Murphy’s Law person will cause me to have problems on the upgrade or just go ahead and do it without a backup. Even the upgrade is gibberish to me too. *sigh*

I just get back on my feet healthwise and get broadband and this happens Like I said, Murphy’s Law person here.

I probably won’t upgrade unless I backup. I won’t backup in a while because (1) I don’t understand how to do it, (2) I don’t have the time to do it if I did understand it, and (3) I don’t know if I really need to do it.

I guess what I am asking is for suggestions on what to do. What would you do in this situation?

Until next time!

©2008, L. Sue Durkin

Just today I was listening to a an oldies radio station that plays 60’s, 70’s, and 80’s music. The weather was just the right amount of sunshine, humidity, and breeze to bring back a time in my life that had many happy times surrounding it. It also brought the tears, singing and dancing along with it.

I could actually see the front porch, hear the sounds of the neighborhood, and feel the breeze gently touch my skin. Or was that the current breeze coming in my west window that was doing that? The memories that wafted on the breeze brought a hint of a smile to my face. The subtlety of the breeze and the memory made me want to go back to what I know now were simpler times.

Isn’t it amazing how we think we are in a bad place or time, only to later in life, see it as simpler than what we are experiencing now? Is that always the way? Does today always seem harder, more overwhelming, scarier, or just plain bad? Does the future mellow those thoughts or were they truly not as bad as we made them at the time?

As you can see it was a reflection day today. I didn’t realize it myself until I started writing this. I just thought of the day as one of pleasant, very pleasant memories. I danced to the songs of my happy years and thought of those who I loved and who loved me.

Today was a good day. A VERY good day!

Til Next Time!

©2008, L. Sue Durkin

Broken friendships, murders, and even wars have occurred because of the need to be right. People are willing to suffer all types of negative consequences just to make someone else know they are right. Yelling, screaming, frightened children, and divorce are the very basic results of fighting over who is right.

Why? Does it bring satisfaction to be right? Maybe. But what about the other person or even about the consequences of being right? Isn’t that taken into consideration? To those people who need to be right, the answer is no.

A woman once asked me if her spouse won if she backed off and didn’t show him she was right. She stated he would think he was right, when in fact she knew she was right. She let him know this fact all the time. The results were a very unhappy life for both of them and lots of arguing. I asked her if she would rather be right or be happy? She said both.

If she gave up the right to be happy and keep arguing, she could be right all the time. If she chose to be happy then she would have to give up being right all the time. There is a balance in life. To have one thing you must give up something else. There is always give and take.

Did I mention that when you give up being right, it was not actually being right that you give up, but trying to convince the other person you are right? You can still be right in your own mind. You don’t have to agree with them. In fact, you may really and truly be right. What you are doing is not trying to control the other person’s thoughts or beliefs. You are giving them their space and not forcing yourself on them. By trying to force someone to your way of thinking, you are saying they are wrong and you are right. You are saying they don’t matter. In most arguments it doesn’t matter who is right or wrong. It is an ego trip for the participants as well as a control tactic. It becomes a matter of who is in power and control and who isn’t.

In the situation of the lady who wanted to be right, I gave her a clue to being happy. She doesn’t have to admit she is not right. She doesn’t even have to concede that her husband may be right. All she needs to do is not argue. She knows in her heart she is right; the same as he knows in his heart he is right. It really doesn’t matter if anyone is right. Let others have the opportunity to feel they are right, whether you think they are or not. It doesn’t hurt to do that. And… it helps keep peace in the household.

Recently this lady told me how she had started taking the comments I gave her and putting them into practice. She stated she knew she was right and it didn’t seem as important for her husband to know it. It has come down to the fact they don’t argue over that as much anymore. He is even conceding that she may be right more often than not. It has taken away the main factor of being right: to control the other person. Now there is peace in their home.

Let go of the need to be right and you let go of a piece of what makes you try to control another person. Most times a person doesn’t even realize that is what they are trying to do, control.

The next time you just have to be right, stop and think what is more important to you. Is it being right or being happy? The choice is yours.

Til Next Time!

©2008, L. Sue Durkin

My book signing was a huge success! I started my presentation at 7pm. Usually when I start at that time the library closes an hour later and I try to be done by then or by 9pm at the latest. When I was leaving the signing the librarian mentioned that the library closed at 7pm. So the time I spent there was after hours. Every time I asked if there were any more questions and was going to quit the presentation, there were more questions. Finally at 10:30pm the presentation was over. Everyone bought books and we left the library at 10:55pm, almost 11:00! I didn’t have access to a clock all that time so I had no idea what time I had actually quit and how late it was. Those who came for the book signing didn’t want to leave!

Today I received an email from one of the women telling me how much she enjoyed the presentation and she wanted to keep in contact with me. Her sister also told me when she got back to California she was going to call me because she was dealing with some issues and she thought I could help her. She is a psychic healer and affirmed several of the things I was receiving during the presentation.

The questions they asked ranged from hours that I write, to my publishing company, doing missing person’s cases, and many other facets of my abilities. There were skeptics there but there were also supporters. Everyone got food for thought. My book signings, I am finding out, aren’t typical. That is okay with me as long as people get what they need and are happy when they leave.

Since I mentioned in my June newsletter about The Great Shift I have been inundated with information: both new and previously known. Now I have to focus on what snippets to give as I can’t type it all into my newsletter. There is just too much of it. I don’t want people to have to go out to buy books if I can get the information across to them in other ways. However, if I can find websites and information that way to help, I try to add those into my series. If you are interested in this series on The Great Shift, please subscribe to Reboot Your Life™.

The only words of wisdom I have for you today is to get fed. I am not referring to physical food. I am referring to feeding your soul, your spirit. I feed so many people and I usually don’t have anyone to feed me. Last night I got fed at the book signing. I go to workshops and meet people face to face. I try to connect on the phone with those who are of like minds and exchange energy.

In this world of fast pace, no time for ourself lifestyles, don’t forget to get fed. It will keep your energy up, keep you from getting lost, and keep you balanced.

Until Next Time!

©2008, L. Sue Durkin

In my June Newsletter I asked if people were interested in knowing more about The Great Shift, and they emailed me they were. So I started a series on The Great Shift in my July issue. You can read it here. That was one of my affirmations.

Not fully comprehending why, after I wrote about The Great Shift in my newsletter, I heard about it on Coast to Coast AM, I waited for the understanding to come. It did. I am to address it in my blog. I am not exactly sure where to start or what to say. I just know it is a part of me and my life. We, John and I, are immersed in the knowledge of it. We believe in it. We live our life for today. In that process we are preparing for the Shift. It has become second nature to us to see the world in the terms that The Great Shift is here and will culminate on or before December 2012.

We have, over the years, come to the realization that most people have huge misconceptions about the Great Shift. They believe that it suggests the end of the world. It does not! I repeat: It does NOT! It conveys the end of the world as we know it. The keywords here are as we know it.

Life as we knew it changed when the Twin Towers went down. Life as it was known changed when Noah experienced the Great Flood. Life as it was known changed when Christ died on the Cross. Life as we knew it changed when the Twin Towers went down. Life as we know it is going to change.

We are in The Great Shift now. It started around 1992 and will, as I said before, culminate in 2012. All the weather changes, earth changes, spiritual changes, government upheavals, etc. are all fingers pointing to the final cleansing of Mother Earth. It is and it is not an overnight event. There are things that are leading up to the finally. However, if people don’t pay attention to the signs, they will think it happened overnight.

Until people hear about the shift they aren’t afraid. So why be afraid after they hear about it? It is nothing to be feared. We are living it right now.

Why is it called The Great Shift? There have been other shifts throughout the ages, but this is The Big One. This is a shift of not only weather and earth changes. It is a change in the total Universe: the sun, moon, stars, and planets. It is about physical changes along with the earth and weather changes. It is about spiritual and emotional changes. It is about Ascension into the next dimension. That is why it is called The Great Shift!

If you are interested in more information on The Great Shift, email me at thegreatshift@suesunshine.com.I will be happy to answer your questions or address your comments. I will be posting more about this topic as Spirit directs me to post.

Til Next Time!

©2008, L. Sue Durkin

Originally she came to me for a intuitive reading. I had told her that the man she was making herself sick over was suppose to be in her life, just not the way she wanted. She is determined that he is suppose to be. So when they started seeing each other, her friends and myself got a “told you so” attitude from her. That was until things went sour, big time.

She came back to me for another reading. I told her the same thing I had been telling her for two years. She admitted that the last time we had talked she went away mad at me because of what I told her. She didn’t want to see it. When things went wrong, who did she call? Yet, she still avoids the obvious.

I had told her that they would always have an extremely strong spiritual connection. That no matter who she ended up with they would still be friends and confidants. She wants more. She INSISTS that she KNOWS it is suppose to be more. Yet, it isn’t going that way. Never has. Isn’t now. Doesn’t look like it will.

I received an email from her. Stating that no matter that her friends, myself included, say he is not suppose to be in her life, she knows he is. I never said he wasn’t suppose to be in her life. I said not in her life the way she wants him to be. Selective hearing? Selective memory? Either way she is making herself physically ill by not letting go. By insisting it is the way she wants it to be.

There are many people in the world that are that way. My husband is very intuitive. I asked him once if he listened to that intuition. He said, “when it agrees with what I want.” Isn’t that the same with my friend? All the signs and symbols are there. All the actions and non-actions are there. Yet she chooses to ignore them and focus on what she wants and seeing that as her reality, because that is what she wants.

It’s the same thing with The Great Shift. When you tell someone that it is not the end of the World. It is the end of the World as we know it. They don’t hear the part that says, “as we know it.” All they hear is “the end of the World.” I experienced this with my book as well.

At an author fair book signing a woman came to my table at the end of the day. She said someone had asked her if she had seen my book. She said no because it was a recipe book. They informed her otherwise. When telling me this story she repeated the title to me: Life is Like Chocolate Chip Cookies. She left out the word Making. The book is called, Life is Like Making Chocolate Chip Cookies.

That one left out word changes the whole meaning of the book. By leaving out the word, my book is then thought of in a different venue: recipe books. When in actuality it is a motivational, self-help, and spiritual book. So why did she leave that word out?

In this day and age we are multi-tasking. We are not taking the time to actually see, hear, or feel what is right in front of us. My friend doesn’t hear what is actually being said to her, because she is so caught up in her wants. My husband doesn’t hear when it goes against what he wants. And, the lady at the book signing didn’t see because she was in too big of a hurry to read properly and grasp all of the words.

Do you find yourself not hearing, seeing, or feeling what is really being presented to you? Are you using your selective hearing and memory tools to get yourself through life? Do these tools make people any happier? Or, does it just cause more problems?

I find that facing a situation head-on, whether or not I agree with it or like it, is much better than fighting things I can’t control. That is what this all comes down to: control. My friend wants her relationship the way she wants it whether it is going that way or not. My husband wants life a certain way so he won’t listen to anything that says differently. The lady at the book signing is so out of control she can’t even slow down to read the title of a book properly.

My suggestion, to all of you who see yourself in one of these three people, is to just let go of the control. Allow life to flow. You will not only save yourself some big medical bills; you will be happier.

Til Next Time

©2008, L. Sue Durkin

Yesterday I was talking to a friend about relationships. The conversation centered around one partner changing and the other partner fighting to keep the same life dance steps. How does one deal with the fear of the partner who is out of step? Sometimes it comes down to one leaving totally. However, that doesn’t have to be an option. So what does one do to keep peace and harmony and still change the dance steps?

One of the things I have found that most people try to do is get their partner to change. This, of course, causes rebellion from the other partner. Don’t try to change your partner! Change yourself! Actions speak louder than words. So live the life you want with your partner. Live the life you want your partner to embrace. As you change, your partner will change gradually and subconsciously. You may see it. They won’t. However, they will only change if you don’t cram your expectations down their throat.

It is normal for a person to get caught up in the newness of something. This movement is no different. Not everyone is open to what we currently call the New Age/Metaphysical movement. We want to share what we have with the world! We want everyone to have what we have! Then we run up against the world. Thump! The conflicts begin!

I have a psychologist friend who told me his wife tells him not to use that psychology crap on her. My husband tells me the same thing. So instead of talking about it, I do subtle things. If my husband raises his voice at me for something, I go and give him a very big hug. I use to either bring to his attention what he was doing or I yelled back. Now I do neither. The spontaneous hugging seems to work. I don’t know if he has caught on yet. He hasn’t said anything. He just hugs back. I also believe his actions are changing for the better. I change what I do. He changes what he does. Domino effect.

Another thing we talked about yesterday was being in a state of balance. When you are not in a state of balance, it is more difficult to go hug someone who you believe has offended you. Thus you react without thinking. Wham! Put on the boxing gloves! You are going to need them. No peace and harmony here!

I realized that lately I have been unbalanced. I have been taking antibiotics which have left me drained and tired. So I am more apt to re-act than act. I realized today, upon awakening, that I had gotten away from the things that balanced me: soft music, saging, meditation, hugging my tree and walking barefoot in the grass, and just sitting and thinking to name a few.

I know exactly why and how I became unbalanced. I quit saging the house, along with not finding time to meditate. I quit going outside on a regular basis to hug my tree and feel the soft cool grass between my toes. The last straw was losing my cd player. No music. Music and water heal my soul. They help get me and keep me balanced. Looking back I realize I could be more imbalanced than I am.

Today I saged the house. It has been almost a month since the last time, when I changed what I say during the saging.  People that I wanted to talk to or interact with were staying away because of my phraseology. Remember, what you put out in the Universe you get. You have to be really specific. I changed my words from saying “all that I consider negative” to “all that I consider negative unless it is necessary”. Now you may ask yourself, “isn’t all negativity unnecessary?” In my work I deal with people and their negativity. I help them through it. It has to enter my space so I can counsel them. So there are times when negativity needs to be allowed into a person’s life for specific reasons.

Monday my husband, John, brought me home a 3 CD player with a radio and 2 cassette sections for recording. It also has 4 speakers! Now the problem is where to put it as I moved furniture around after losing my 5 CD player. Right now it is sitting on our dining room table playing music from one of my meditation CDs. It is so comforting.

I am that much closer to being balanced. This is making it easier to have peace and harmony in my home. I hope that I have given you some insights to create the same for yourself.

Until Next Time!

©2008, L. Sue Durkin

I mentioned in a previous blog about a two-year-old issue. I decided to face it head on, deal with it, and get it out of the way. It isn’t easy for sure! Everyday it is an effort to remain in the frame of mind I need in order to conqueror this far-reaching problem. The struggle is worth it though. The lessons along the way that are tied into this particular issue are many. I see new ones each time I am confronted with what to do. Just as it seems I am learning what I am suppose to learn, a new situation takes over and I have to use my new found knowledge to get through it.

Yesterday as I was sitting at my computer and trying to set up a new format for my newsletter, (which can be found here: http://www.suesunshine.com/RYLsubscriptionform.html ), my husband, John, walked in from outside, stood behind me, and watched what I was doing. It was unnerving. He was only inches away from me and I could feel his breathe on the back of my neck. I felt my blood pressure start to rise with annoyance. Then a still quiet voice said, “just ignore him. Pay no attention to him there.” It was difficult, but that is just what I did. A soothing feeling came over me and I was able to continue my work, unlike similar past experiences of this type.

I realized if I follow that still, small voice, that niggling sensation, that Jiminy Cricket on my shoulder I can then deal with things a whole lot easier. Usually I get thoroughly annoyed when John stands like that. Yesterday was a totally different experience. It was a good experience. He finally walked away without saying anything and I got my work done. We both got what we wanted.

Today the epiphany for me in the above scenerio was that if I listen to the voice of the spirit in me, I am in the now. I am in my awareness. I can act instead of reacting. I am ‘in the groove.’ I Am.

©2008, L. Sue Durkin

I am a writer. I need my time. I need my space. I get neither. For four years I have asked my husband to fix the phone and electric outlets upstairs so that I could go there to use my computer and do the things I have to do. He hasn’t.

I realize there are many reasons why. The one I use to espouse was that he knows if he did he would never see me. I would get lost in that room and never appear again. Another theory is that he wants me with him all the time and thus, doesn’t want me up there away from him. If this is so, why then does he spend hours in the garage? The answer I was given by someone else is that when he is in the house or in a position to be near me, that is what he wants, to be near me. But what about my wants and needs?

When he enters a room his energy disrupts me even if he says nothing. When he does talk to me he distracts me and I have to start all over or find where I left off. He wants my attention right then and won’t take no for an answer. On top of all that he wants me readily available to talk. He doesn’t seem to realize he is invading my time, my space. I have no place to call my own.

We have talked about this often. He still doesn’t seem to get it. In fact today we had another discussion about it. He gave suggestions: The same ones he always gives and then doesn’t follow through. I keep trying to find ways to deal with what I feel have been unchangeable issues the past few years: being interrupted, having my time and space taken from me, and being called upon to do things when I am busy.

Earlier today he dragged out the vacuum cleaner and ran it so I had to quit and go outside. I didn’t get my work done then. I am expecting his friend to drop by soon. His friend usually doesn’t leave until the wee hours of the morning. They will fill up the house with their noise and I won’t be able to concentrate. This started a week ago, but it is already annoying.

I have tried to set certain times that I will be working. Didn’t work. I have tried signs, hats, and all types of props to show I am working and that I am not to be bothered. Didn’t work. I have yelled and screamed at him. Didn’t work. Talking to him in a nice civilized manner didn’t work either. Yet he tells me to go work on my book; go do what you have to do. Then he turns around and bothers me again.

If he does respect my time and space after a discussion, it only lasts for 2 or 3 days. Never longer than that. He reaps the fruits of my labors, if he lets me labor. I am thinking it is a subconscious behaviour on his part. He doesn’t even know what he is doing until I address the issue. He does apologize. However, I don’t think deep down he means it. If he is doing his “thing” and it is convenient for him when I am doing my “thing” then I can get hours of work done. Otherwise nothing gets done.

I believe this is going to be an ongoing battle for a while. So why did I share this with you? I would like to get your responses. Do you have some of the same problems or know of someone who does? How do you or they handle them? I am really interested to know.

I will keep you updated as to the progress I make.

Til Next time!

P.S. After I wrote this (before suppertime) he went upstairs, cleaned the room, watched t.v., and left me alone. I got 3-1/2 hours work done. Then I made supper. I have been on here now for 45 minutes. So looks like I am going to get some things done the next few days. Keep your fingers crossed!

©2008, L. Sue Durkin